Doin' it!

It has been SO fun receiving pictures of many of you!  I will be posting a few at a time so you can see.  I sometimes imagine what it would be like if ALL of us could gather in one place wearing these shirts.  I  am sure it would be powerful and emotional.  This is a way we can almost accomplish that... I am making a book for Dylan with ALL the photos of you guys wearing his shirt.  KEEP SENDING ME PICTURES :)  send them to dylandshaw@gmail.com.  THANK YOU!!!  

"Me & baby Graham are DOIN' IT 4 Dylan!! We love you!!"

Dylan's aunt McKell!  Baby Graham will be born TOMORROW! We can't wait to meet him!  

and of course..we will get him a shirt of his own.  :)

"We are FIGHTING with you and your family every step of the way!!!

xoxo Meghan & Brandon Andersen

"Mountain Crest Drill Team is Doin It For YOU Dylan!!!  You are in all of our prayers!!!!"

MC Caprielles

  I can't wait to show you more, and to see more of you who haven't sent pictures.  We will never forget all of you who have joined our ARMY.  It is a powerful one.  Full of hope, peace, tears, & LOVE!  We love each of you.  THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts.

Chelsea

*******PS  DANCING 4 DYLAN!!  MONDAY!!! 5:00PM DOORS OPEN! NORTHRIDGE HIGH SCHOOL(Layton)  You will be SHOCKED to see the AMAZING donations we have for the silent auction, and the performers are the most talented around! This will be one of the most amazing evenings of our lives.  We hope you are there to experience it with us!******

BITTERSWEET

Today was Dylan's last day of his radiation treatment! It is definitely bittersweet. This is the last conventional treatment option they offer him. They want him to come back in a month for an MRI to see what the treatment has done to the tumor. In addition to his radiation he has to go to Primary Children's once a week for blood work and vitals. So far all of his counts have been great! Last week the person that went to draw his blood reached for a needle and went to put a line in his arm and Ryan asked what he was doing and he told them he would probably need it for a blood transfusion. Apparently that is very common at this point. However, they pricked his finger and everything looked great! I am impressed with how well his little body has tolerated his treatments. He continues to be extremely tired at times and gets massive heartburn but other then that and losing parts of his hair, he has done well! I am a little concerned with his balance and speech the last few days though. He seems to have gone a backwards in that department. We were told it is normal to have good days and bad days but I am not going to lie, it isn't very encouraging when you don't see things continually progressing as you would like them to. BLAH. I really hate this.

We are continuing to treat him with homeopathic supplements and have consulted with a variety of doctors. We have him on some alternative treatments as well. I like to think that part of the reason his labs have come back good are because of what we are doing outside of protocol. We are still considering a few alternative clinics and trials although DIPG's don't hold much promise. I can't even explain the frustration I feel towards the lack of research and options that are provided with this disease. It is frustrating to realize that I didn't even know that a gold ribbon represents pediatric cancer awareness. Did you know that? We all know what the pink ribbon stands for. Unfortunately every day many children are newly diagnosed with cancer. Ours unfortunately having a terrible prognosis. It makes me sick to read about others who have done this before Dylan and recently I have been having a really hard time processing it. Maybe it's this crappy weather! It doesn't do much for the spirit. I hard a hard time on Easter. Maybe it will be the holidays. Maybe it's postpartum! I don't know. It all stinks. I feel like I have done pretty good job staying optimistic and positive but today I feel like pouting a little! And I'm not even the one who is sick! Hopefully this is just a small wave that will soon pass and I can get back to looking at things from my usual positive perspective.

On a lighter note, we got the cutest visit last week from sweet Dakota Friedli. He and his family stopped by on the way home from the hospital. He is the cutest 3 year old you will ever meet. Last November he was in a freak accident where he was trapped under a fence for somewhere around 26 minutes without oxygen. This has left him unable to do almost anything. Except look at you with his beautiful blue eyes and occasionally smile the cutest smile you have ever seen. You can feel his little spirit radiating inside his precious little body and we have all fallen completely in love with him. It is interesting to think that while both of our situations are totally different, both of our families lives were changed in an instant forever. Anyway, he and his most amazing mom and dad brought Dylan an autographed football from the Denver Broncos. It had everyone's signatures on it! That meant the world to Dylan! I continue to be overwhelmed by the kindness and compassion that is shown to Dylan and our family. Speaking of kindness and compassion, we again need to thank everyone that organized the Todd Morrison Alumni Tournament and everyone that supported it! We were shocked at the amount that was raised for both us and the Friedli family. We come from such an amazing community.

We will continue to strive to take things one day at a time. Often it feels like a day lasts forever and time slows down. A friend of mine pointed that out to me and believes that it is a gift from our Heavenly Father. I agree. I cherish every day I am able to spend with my family. Even those days I feel like locking myself in the closet and screaming at the top of my lungs! I still believe I signed up for this. I don't think at the time I understood how hard it would be. But whatever it takes for us to be an eternal family is something I will agree to endure to attain that. Thank you again for the love and prayers that are abundant. They continue to keep us afloat during the most trying time of our life.

Dylan Shaw Warrior Run 5K & Kids K

I just wanted to let everyone know about the 5K & Kids K for Dylan. This will be a great chance to get some exercise with your friends and family while showing support for Dylan. We need help getting the word out, so pass the info onto your friends/family. You can preregister at https://dylanshawwarriorrun.webconnex.com/reg2011 It is on Saturday, May 7th. The 5K starts at 9am and the Kids K starts at 10am. It starts at Barker Park: 520 W. Elberta Drive

Pleasant View, UT.

There are t-shirt for the 5K and the first 100 Kids K runners. After that, the Kids will get a "Doin it for Dylan" wristband. If you know anyone/business that would like to donate to help cover the expenses of the race, let me know (darcee.felt@gmail.com)

So many of us want to help, but aren't sure what to do. Coming and running with Dylan is one small thing you can do that will have a big impact on you and him. I love the experience of running races, but especially for such a great cause and a great kid! I think it would be awesome to have a ton of kids there to run the Kids K alongside Dylan and his family. It's an experience that you, your kids, and Dylan won't forget.

Friday night

  Hello everyone!  Unfortunately we are NOT the only ones in a horrible situation right now, fighting for a life.  I am writing to tell you about Bob Eggett.   In 2004 he was diagnosed with a Brain Tumor. After an extensive surgery, and radiation he was miraculously cancer free!  Unfortunately, this last September he was informed the tumor had returned and just last week the doctors gave him only 6 months to live.  He is a father of SIX young children.
  You may have heard of this wonderful "Anything for a friend" website.  There was a story done about Becky Anderson, the founder, on KSL.  It is an amazing organization, and this Friday the 29th they are doing a dinner benefit for Bob, his wife, & children.  Bring your whole family :)  Here are all the details..

Event Date: April 29th, 2011

Event Time: 5-9pm

Location: Weber State University

                  Shepherd Union, Ballroom

                   Ogden, UT, 84408

Activities:

• Dinner $5 per plate--With Texas Roadhouse
• Silent Auction
• Live Auction
• Photos with a Pro-- 'Shear Luck Enterprises'
• Kid's Corner
• Entertainment--Vocalocity--'Acappella That Rocks'

  These events are not just for his family and friends, but all of us who are wanting to help.  Every little bit will help this sweet family.  Hopefull we will see many of you there!!! THANK YOU!!!  

  

Driving with Dylan

Have to tell you about Tom (Grandpa Shaw) driving Dylan to radiation the other day.
As they were driving down the freeway there were several signs saying, "Jim Bridger discovered the Great Salt Lake". After seeing several of the signs, Dylan said to Grandpa, "How hard would it be to discover the Great Salt Lake? It is kinda big, not too hard to discover!"

Grandpa said he had to laugh a bit and tried to tell Dylan that back in those days, there were no roads, or people here like there is now, and it wasn't as easy to find.

What a mind Dylan has!!! Always thinking!!! Always keeping us all on our toes! He is always reminding us to do things that maybe we have forgotten. LOVE THAT KID!!!!!

Grandma Shaw

Ready for Summer!

Today Dylan came and hung out with me for just a little bit.  I love every minute I get to spend with him!  It was just the two of us and our conversation was wonderful.  We spent lots of time talking about what we were excited for, and we both agreed that Bear Lake was on the top of the list.  He told me they are planning on basically living there for the summer...sounds good to me!  This is something that has been a part of our family's lives forever.  We spend many of the summer weeks at the lake.  Life there is simple.  We eat, play, laugh, swim, Mandy pays me to do back handsprings on the beach,  watch movies, sometimes go for beautiful runs, and always Grandma Janace brings crafts for the kids.  We have SO many happy memories there, and I love that our kids are growing up there too.  Making "Bear Lake" memories is what matters.  Spending time with family & friends.  I can't even put into words how grateful I am for all of ours...and for now...we are looking forward to making many more this summer!

   

can you even take how cute he is in this picture?!!! 

GRATITUDE...

As soon as I turned on my computer to update the blog, the first thing that came to mind was the word "gratitude". That continues to be an every day emotion. Of course along with many others but this one certainly stands superior. I am so grateful for every second of every day I get to spend with my family- I am grateful for my amazingly amazing husband who loves me even when I don't get ready for 5 days in a row! I am so grateful for my 5 and 3 year old princesses that color me 1,000 pictures a day even though when we go to print something we are out of paper! I am so grateful for my angel baby that found me even though I originally cried for days when I found out I was pregnant! I am so grateful for my full of it 2 year old who fills our home with insane energy even though at times I feel like I will never be able to keep up with him! I am so grateful for my studly 11 year old that continues to be my assistant around the house even though he would rather eat rocks. I am so grateful for Dylan's sense of humor and his ability to make me laugh with all of his hilarious comments even though he is fighting for his life. And I am so grateful to have such a WONDERFUL support system. It continues to blow my mind! Every time I feel the sadness creeping in, there is always someone or something that buoys me up... Whether it's a text from a friend, a visit from a neighbor, my mother in law showing up for back up, or one of my sisters calling to tell me how one of their friends gave them something to give to us. No matter the magnitude of the thought, it just continues to overwhelm me. I know I probably sound like a broken record but I just feel like I will never be able to thank everyone enough. I often feel guilty! I feel like there are probably a lot more people that need it more then we do. We really do appreciate every thing that has been done to support us in every way.

I don't feel right talking about gratitude without mentioning all of the support I continue to receive from my Heavenly Father. My eyes are filling up with tears as I think of all of the support I know I have and continue to get from him. I can't explain the battle that I have within myself as we go through this trying period. Just when I think I am coping well and am use to this situation, something sneaks up on me and I have a meltdown! They don't last long but when they strike, they strike HARD! I try to keep them to the times when I am by myself. I know that my Savior knows just how I feel and then I don't feel alone. I know that HE understands how I feel. When I choose to listen to that still small voice, I know that everything will be okay. I know that it will be hard. I know that. It already is! But I know that I have been blessed with the strength to do this. I know my husband has too. I know that we will be blessed because of our faith. I know that what we want may not be what we get. But I know that we are and will continue to do all we can to get what we want. I feel such a strength in me that I never knew I had. It's crazy to me that in addition to that strength, I also feel so weak. Weak because I know that I still have a long way to go!

I have so many thoughts circling my mind constantly that I am sure makes my posts seem all over the place! And now I am jumping to Dylan and what this week has been like... I am so happy to see him have more energy! He has continued to want to see his friends and get outside a bit! His balance seems to be improving. His right side of his face is still paralyzed and he has lost all of his hearing in that ear but I would take that over the ringing and sounds he was having in the beginning! He still has double vision in his right eye and that is why he wears his patch. The doctor thinks his speech is improving but it didn't seem to really be that affected to me originally. They told us before we began radiation that by about week 5 the improvement with the symptoms will be about as good as it will get. For the sake of his self-esteem I wish he could get his normal smile back. I just have to keep reminding him that at least he has a mouth he can eat with! :)

My friend went to school the other day to eat lunch with her daughter and said the cafeteria was FULL of students wearing "Doin' it 4 Dylan" shirts. He couldn't believe it and was thrilled that so many people are thinking about him. She told Dylan how lots of the girls came up to her and showed her how they had "bedazzled" their shirts! He was so impressed by that! I went to one of our dance competitions this weekend (just on Friday) and saw people wearing them there. The Director of the competition also asked us to bring shirts and bracelets there to sale and I can't believe the support we received there too! The dance community is amazing! We can't wait to see everyone at "Dancing 4 Dylan".

Again, I can't thank everyone for all the support we continue to receive. When everything hit we were flooded with support. I figured that's how it always is in the beginning and that it usually fades after the initial shock. But is hasn't. We will be eternally grateful to every single individual who has shown love to us through prayer, thought and acts of kindness. We love all of you more than you will ever know.

Fishing

Cousin Luke

Papa Billy, Luke, and some big nasty fish!

**P.S.  THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!! We cannot believe how many of you are wanting to support Dylan by purchasing his shirts and bracelets.  We are almost out of the 500 shirts & we've already had to order more bracelets!  Really, THANK YOU!

Pictures have started coming too... Email us yours, this will be so much fun!!  

T's & Bracelets!

NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE ON THE BLOG!  LOOK ON THE RIGHT SIDEBAR.

Dylan is so happy and shocked that so many people want to wear his shirts & bracelets already!  If you don't have them...order quick!

*****We were able to get the first 500 shirts donated, which meant we could sell them for only $5.00!  After we sell the 500 shirts, the price will go up to $10.00 to cover costs and still help raise funds for the Shaws.  Again, THANK YOU for all the kindness and support you have shown! *****

ps We would LOVE to show Dylan pictures of you and your families wearing the shirts!  Please email me pictures to: dylandshaw@gmail.com.  This will be so much fun for him to see :)

Chelsea

DANCING 4 DYLAN!!!

(click on flyer to make larger)

Most of you know that Mandy owns Infinity Dance.  You probably all know how amazingly talented she is at what she does...but you might not know how many people she has influenced in the Dance World....Did you know there's such thing as the Dance World?!  Well...there is :)  Her passion & love for dancing has impacted SO many lives.

Because of this, there was a huge desire from Studios & Drill Teams across the State wanting to help.  Two wonderful women are making it happen.  The show that evening will be absolutely phenomenal! 

   Here's where you all come in!  We would LOVE you to come!  Besides the amazing show, there will be a silent auction, kids corner, & yummy treats!!  THIS is how you can help & show your support to the Shaw Family!  Come spend the evening with us at this unforgettable event!  The Doin' it for Dylan shirts & bracelets will also be for sale at the show.  Read the flyer above for all the details!  

We can't wait! SEE YOU THERE!!

****If you are planning on donating items for Dancing 4 Dylan, we are trying to have all donations in our hands & ready to go by this Friday, the 15th.  THANK YOU!!!!****

The Latest

Well, today I had to shave Dylan's head. They told us in the beginning he might lose his hair in the back and it has been shedding over the last few days in patches. I now wish I would have paid a little better attention in Cosmetology school when they were teaching us men's cuts, especially a fade! Let's just say we may need a barber to do a little blending. :) It makes him feel a little insecure. He thinks he looks "stupid" with it. I personally think he is the cutest thing no matter how things change on him. He still is a bit bothered by the fact that he can't get his smile up on his right side and now his right eye is cross-eyed. The human body amazes me. It can go through so much and make it through and yet it is so vulnerable at the same time. Every little physical change that occurs makes me wonder how I would feel if it were me. The thing that is so hard for him is how fast it has all happened. It takes him a minute to get use to the changes, at times they are hard for him to accept but all in all he stays tough. What a cool little man I have.

We decided to switch his radiation to the morning and I think it is working better for him. That way he doesn't dread it all day, he gets home early enough to take his nap and is refreshed when friends get home from school. For a while he kind of avoided them. I think it was due to a few things... I think at first he felt weird. Also, after radiation he is always so tired and pretty cranky. He was getting home around 4:30 or 5:00 p.m. when every one was outside playing and I think it bothered him. This last week since we changed his time he wanted to play with his friends twice this week! I was thrilled! I also got him to go to an hour of school with me on Tues. That made me happy too. We have also arranged for a tudor to come to the house a few days a week to work on school work with him. I want things to be as normal and structured as possible for him. One thing that remains the same is the bickering between the children. That helps to make ME feel normal! Haha.

Well my husband got a new calling in church. One that I know will truly bless our family. I feel so strongly that we are constantly being watched over. I am so grateful for the strength I continue to receive from my Heavenly Father. Sometimes my mind starts to wander and worry about the future but I am able to quickly retrieve those undesirable thoughts and focus on the now. Dylan has been shown so much love by so many people, it has touched me to the core. I can't believe the lengths people have gone to in order to make him feel special. He told me that sometimes people treat him like he is the President! Lol. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone that has supported him. From the texts to the comments left on this blog, the treats, the random visits, the cards, the packages, the prizes, the letters... the list goes on and on! I feel the same as Heavenly Father does in Matthew 25, vs 40 when he says, "in as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

Thank you again for all of the love that has been shown to all of us.

We are still pursuing additional treatment options. We will constantly be searching for anything that will help! You can't put a price on a life. Especially one of your own children. He has been so easy to love and take care of. He has taught me so much in such a short period of time. I am so grateful for every minute of every day I get to spend with my family. If there is anything I can pass on to others, it is to not take those minutes and days for granted. You think it will never be you but you never know. I never thought it would be us. But as crazy as it sounds I don't think I would change it. It has made me appreciate the simple things in life. :)

Thursday's Hero!

Yesterday, we got to go down to a spring football practice at BYU.  They gave us a tour of the facilities and we got to watch about 30 minutes of their actual practice (I know it's early in spring but they look good and have some talented athletes) and I'm predicting a great year for the Cougars.

Dylan was getting a little tired because he hadn't had a nap for the day but he was so excited to be there, he Loves BYU football.  At the end of practice, the whole team huddles and midfield and they brought the kids out (there were two brothers from Maryland with us as well) to meet the team.  The whole team was cheering and yelling for the boys (it was awesome) and they gave each of the boys a gift bag with hats, t-shirts, wristbands and a flag that was signed by all the players.  They then had each of the boys sign the big white flag that flies at every practice and is the one the players carry out in front of them at every game.  Then each of the players gave the boys hi five's or handshakes and then coach Mendenhall came over and spoke to Dylan for a minute one on one and talked to him about being strong and how he has a boy Dylan's age and then he took off his hat and said 'I usually only do this on game day but I'm going to give you this hat, it's only been worn once if you promise to wear it every Saturday'  Dylan of course did and then, in return, gave coach one of his 'doin if for Dylan' bracelets and coach said he would wear that bracelet as long as Dylan wore his hat.  It was awesome of coach Mendenhall to take that extra time to spend with Dylan it is something that we will all remember!  This is probably the coolest and kindest program in sports (that I've heard of anyway).  To make those boys feel like they were a part of the team for even just an hour was something that they'll be talking about for years to come.  So, from all of us to the BYU football team:  Thank you for such a memorable afternoon with your program, we will forever be BYU football fans!

RYAN, the Dad

HELLO FROM DYLAN!! :)

Shirts & bracelets will be available to purchase on the blog really soon!  If you are wanting either RIGHT NOW  email me chelsea.uniformity@gmail.com  & I will get you what you need! THANK YOU!!! :)

Life...

Today I find myself frequently fighting back tears. It probably has a lot to do with lack of sleep and just being a female with a newborn too! I am sitting in the same chair looking out the same window I was when Ryan and Dylan walked through the doors crying hysterically about his diagnosis. I find myself reliving that moment a lot today. It seems like we have known forever. Yet it has only been 3 1/2 weeks. So much has happened in that short amount of time and I have changed so much too. I think we all have. I can't describe all that has happened. I can't describe the feeling of peace and love that dwells in our home. Of course we still have bickering children and Ryan and I occasionally lose our cool but it's different. I love to be home. I always have but now I relish it! Even though the constant pressure to keep up with the laundry, feed the hungry mouths and chase after all the crazy little ones often overwhelms me, there is still no other place I would rather be. This experience has already taught me so much. I have realized that I have so much more to learn and to be. I never did feel like I was anywhere near the kind of person I should be but this has put it all into perspective. I need to be a more nurturing mother. I need to do more for others. Especially for strangers or people I hardly know. I can't tell you how many people have reached out to us that hardly know us or don't at all! It touches me deeply and I often find my self wondering "would I have done the same for them"? We have had so many friends and family rally around us and I can't imagine going through this without their support. I know that there are so many others out there that are in worse situations than us and that they have no one. I don't know what we have done to deserve such an outpouring of love. I do know that I am extremely grateful for it. Just as I am for the gospel in our lives. People often ask how we are getting through this. I know it isn't just with our positive attitudes, I know that we are truly being carried... I know that our home is full of angels and I feel them every day. At times I find myself thinking and worrying about the future. But I know that's natural, I just have to keep reminding myself and others not to waste today worrying about tomorrow! :) We are so lucky to be blessed with each and every day. You never know what tomorrow is going to bring. That has never been more evident in my life. The other day Dylan asked me why he had a brain tumor and I explained the reason for trials. He seemed to grasp the concept some what. And then he asked me, "was your biggest trial when you were 8 and had to get your appendix out?" And I said, "no, my biggest trial has been watching you go through this." Our trials aren't necessarily something that happen directly to us but sometimes happen to people we love. How I wish it could be me. Then I think about what would happen to my other children if it were me. But then I know that too has happened to others- So then I have to remind myself that no matter how bad you think you have it, someone else has it worse. I am so blessed to have all I have been given! I almost feel spoiled in a way. I feel so honored to think that Dylan was such a valiant spirit in heaven and that Heavenly Father felt I was worthy enough to be his mother.

It's pretty challenging having 5 kids at home! Especially when they are all pretty needy- We have Dylan, then Avery who is 5, Livi-3, Dax-almost 2 and Drew who is just a month old. I am doing my best to try to give them all the individual love and attention they all deserve. Thank goodness for my and Ryan's family and friends who have continued to help us out. I can't ever begin to thank them enough and feel like I will eternally owe them!

Our cute, sweet Dawson turned 11 on Thursday. I can't believe he is that old! It freaks me out! Where did the time go? We decided to let him and Dylan invite a few friends to a birthday party celebrating Dawson's birthday and a half-birthday for Dylan since his is in October and I am unsure how he will feel then. I realized he hadn't had a legitimate birthday party since he was 5. Yes, it is under these circumstances that you quickly realize how much more you could and should have done for your kids! It ended up being a lot of fun and it was a good day. :)

Dylan continues to worry what other kids including his friends think of him and that is very sad for me to see. I can't imagine going from completely normal one day to struggling so much the next! He doesn't want to be treated differently. I think the more normalcy we maintain, the more normal he feels. So I still have to get after him when he occasionally throws his fits. And lucky for me, the girls continue to annoy him so they continue to fight which is definitely normal to him! Dax continues to be the lovable Tazmanian Devil while Drew continues to be the little angel baby! We have found an at home tutor that will be coming over twice weekly to help Dylan with his work and keep him a little busy. A little structure never hurt anyone! We also talked about having him go to school for an hour a few times a week. He is still nervous about that because of his vision and hearing problems. I would like to see him do this. I know his friends miss him him so much!

We are still exploring alternative treatment options for Dylan and considering a small variety of options. We are doing our best to provide every single opportunity to him to fight as hard as he can! We have to know that we have done all we could. That is our job as his parents. You always hear that you are your child's only advocate and that has never been more real to me then now. Unfortunately they have been treating Dylan's condition the same way for 30 years and it is up to us to find other alternatives. We continue to pray for the guidance to help us find something that can help him. We have had many suggestions from others and a few have given us some hope! In order for a miracle to happen, you have to believe and have faith that it can. I pray every day for that faith.

It seems like this session of conference has been directed at us. I am so grateful for the inspiration our Prophet and Apostles receive. I am also grateful for the peace and serenity I continue to receive. I am grateful to know with all of my heart, that no matter the outcome of our situation, I will have my family forever... and THAT is how I get through my days. :)

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain, But he did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way."

Everyone's fighting a battle

  The day after we found out about Dylan's tumor we had Disney on Ice tickets.  I reaaallly didn't feel like going.  The idea of having to smile, have fun,  AND put make up on, was pretty much overwhelming.  But, after I realized my kids had watched me cry for 24 hours straight, I decided it was a good idea to get out.  I started putting my make up on in the car just as we were approaching the exit to give myself a better chance of tears not ruining it.  Once we got in I was fine, and so happy to see my kids smiling and happy!  During intermission I went to get the girls a treat.  While I was standing in line I was wondering how the world could actually go on after we had just found out about Dylan's tumor.  It was hard for me to keep it together standing in line, by myself,  watching all the people carelessly buying $50.00 cotton candy :)  How lucky they all seemed to be living in happy land.

  A couple days later Mandy called me after she had gone to Costco.  She told me how weird it felt to be doing something that was so normal before....but how not normal it felt.  She was feeling the same as me....how are all these people who I shop with often at Costco, going on with their lives?  How is the world still living??  

  Yesterday I ran into Dylan's cancer buddy Cyndi at Walmart.  We were both in the toy section and were lucky enough to see each other.  She looked so cute!!  She had a great wig on, covering her bald head, and a darling pair of glasses.  I told her....no one would EVER know what you are going through right now.  Then, the reminder came to me...we NEVER know what people are going through.  We can assume that everyone around us are living perfect lives, void of any heartache.  We can convince ourselves we have it worse than most everyone.  We might also start to envy and feel jealous of others "carefree lives".  

   BUT the real truth is,  like I said to Cyndi,  we never know.  I will never understand what people are going through just by looking at them.  None of their trials will be shown to me just in passing.  I have so much sympathy for those who are suffering.   It is so important for me to be kind and patient, even to strangers.  We are all fighting our own battles...