The Last Few Days

Well the last few days have been very eventful. Friday was my birthday... It ended up being the most memorable birthday of my life. My wonderful sister and friends took charge and granted my wish of wanting a fun party for kids. We had Rainbow the clown making balloons for the kids, pinatas, cake, prizes and the whole shabang! Nothing brought me more joy than seeing smiles on my children's faces. Dylan had a blast roaming from room to room entertaining everyone with his favorite songs. He sat on my lap and sang me "Happy Birthday" in his opera voice, it was hilarious. I will never forget that night. Thank you so much to all of you unexpected friends and family who showed up to spend that special time with us.

I can't believe how quickly his symptoms have progressed. To think that one week ago we had no idea what was going on just blows my mind. He continues struggling with headaches, double vision and balance. Yesterday he started experiencing ringing of the ears. Sometimes so intense he will cry for an hour. It is a terrible feeling to feel so helpless. I wish I could take it all for him. Yesterday morning he was feeling very down. I'm sure the steroids make your body feel out of control. As I laid down next to him cuddling and consoling him, his head was so close to mine and I wanted so badly to reach inside of his head and rip the tumor right out of it! It is indescribable watching your baby have to go through all of this agony. But overall he stays strong. I don't think I could handle it as well as him. He is certainly an amazing little boy.

Friday morning Ryan took him to school for a few hours. He was so excited to see his friends and they were all so kind to them. I think he is a little apprehensive about school at this point because he too doesn't quite understand exactly what is going on and is worried about kids asking questions. The doctors said to let him go when he wants to and don't make him if he doesn't. But he did make his AR goal for the quarter and was bummed that he would be in radiation at the time of the reward which was going to a movie. So yesterday we and some friends went to see "Mars Needs Moms". Don't go if you are feeling emotional... :) He really enjoyed it and was happy to get out. Last night we had the amazing opportunity to attend ward temple night. They had arranged for it to be in behalf of Dylan. We met in the Preisthood room and had the most beautiful prayer to begin a fasting session for him. The amount of support there was unreal. I have never in my entire life had such a spiritual experience. The temple has such of way of helping your heart and spirit when you need it the most. I am so grateful to everyone who participated in this. I have definitely been impacted immensely from it. I ended up with the most peaceful feeling that everything will be okay. Not necessarily that Dylan will be completely better but that we will survive this journey.

My perspective on life has done a complete 180. Friends and family who have gone through similar experiences have told us to look for the little miracles and blessings along the way... There have already been so many! One of those miracles is that for the first time in my life I walked through Target and wanted nothing. For those of you who know me, that is major! The only thing in this world that I desire is to have my family forever. Take all the floof and fluff away, it doesn't matter. I am more determined then ever to make myself into the person I was meant to be. I am more determined to help my husband and children become who they are supposed to be. I know that Heavenly Father is watching out over us. Sending us angels in the form of friends and family who are carrying us through this. Thank you again to everyone who has and continued to help push us along. You will never know how much it means to us.